Trainer reveals the one thing you want to remember when petting a dog – and it’s more important than we thought!
Give your dog some control by letting them opt out of the interaction.
![Man petting dog](https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/nVS9bQpbTEmwNihXg9Lpfm-320-80.jpg)
Who doesn’t love petting a dog? Whether it’s our own beloved pup, a friend or relative’s, or one we see out and about whose parents let us pet them, giving a dog plenty of fuss and affection is one of life’s little pleasures.
However, dogs don’t always feel like being petted. While we often think of dogs as being social butterflies who love human contact, our pups don’t always want to be touched – even if we have some of the best dog treats.
As a result, expert dog trainer Juliana DeWillems, owner and head trainer at JW Dog Training & Behavior, has offered some advice in a new Instagram post.
A post shared by JW Dog Training & Behavior Consulting (@jwdogtraining)
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DeWillems begins her video by describing the advice she’s going to share as being in the top three things everyone should know when interacting with dogs. “It’s the concept of ‘pet, pet, pause’, which essentially builds in an opt-in option for the dog to opt into the interaction with you,” she says – it’s important to know how to read dog body language, too.
She explains that humans can be ‘pushy’ when we give our attention to dogs, requesting or demanding interaction with them. “We often become really invasive when we’re petting and touching and interacting with a dog, we don’t give the dog a chance to be like, ‘Yeah, I’m good, that’s actually all I wanted,’” she continues.
If a dog isn’t loving the attention, they may tolerate it, or they might react negatively – they could even bite if they don’t have the space they need. DeWillems explains, “Most of the time, dogs are actually communicating these feelings through their body language and their behavior, but humans just don’t know how to read it.”
What she recommends doing is, after you’ve given a dog a couple of pets, stopping for a moment to see what the dog does. The dog might move away or otherwise end the interaction. Or, they might stick around or even ask for more. By stopping, you’re giving the dog more agency and control – they have the chance to move away if they want to. DeWillems advises doing this with any dog, but particularly with new dogs.
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As she further explains in the caption, “We aren’t entitled to petting or touching dogs just because they’re fluffy and adorable. Most dogs have some sort of personal space bubble with people they don’t know.”
She finishes by putting it simply, “Dogs are always talking to us. Are you listening?”
Occasionally, you might come across a dog who reacts in an aggressive way to being petted if they want their personal space. Here’s what to do if you encounter aggressive dog behavior.
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Adam is a freelance journalist covering pets, lifestyle, health and culture, and he has six years' experience in journalism. He was senior editor at DogTime.com, and has written for The Independent, GoodToKnow and Healthline.
He's also spent the last few years studying towards undergraduate and postgraduate degrees in journalism. While a cat person at heart, he's often visiting his parents' golden retriever, and when he's not writing about everything pets he's probably drinking coffee, visiting a cat cafe, or listening to live music.