38 animal jokes that will have you roaring with laughter

From one quick search on the internet, you’ll find that there is no shortage of animal jokes. For example, you’ve probably already heard about the chicken who crossed the road. And if you’re an animal lover, you’ve no doubt recounted the joke about the leopard who doesn’t play hide and seek (because he was always spotted!).

But what about the shark who tried online dating? Or the ‘famous’ saying every dog says to a bone? Animals really are the gifts that keep on giving. They’re there for us on our best days, our worst and everything in between. They’re also there to lighten the mood – just take a look at all the funny things dogs do and all the funny things cats do.

But, to help you fall even more in love with our friends in the animal kingdom, we’ve rounded up the fur-niest jokes that will make you and all the family have a chuckle or two.

Best animal jokes to share with friends and family

1. How do bees travel to school? By school buzz.
2. What do leopards say after finishing their dinner? That hit the spot.
3. Why couldn’t two elephants go swimming at the same time? They only had one pair of trunks between them.
4. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
5. Where do polar bears like to vote? The North Poll.
6. What’s another name for a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer.
7. Why shouldn’t you play cards in the African savannah? It’s full of cheetahs.
8. Why was the baby snake upset? Someone took its rattle.
9. What do porcupines say when they kiss? Ouch!
10. What forest animal makes other animals yawn? A wild boar.
11. What happened after the lion ate the comedian? He felt funny.
12. Why didn't the man believe the tiger? He thought it was a lion.
13. What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk? An udder failure.
14. What’s the number reason cows go to New York? To see moo-sicals.
15. Where do orcas go to listen to music? Orca-stras.
16. What is a reptile's best film? The Lizard of Oz.
17. What did a dairy farmer say after spilling milk? It’s an udder failure.
18. There were five cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many were left? Zero. They were copycats.
19. What do you call a parked frog? A toad.
20. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
21. Why did the turkey cross the road? To show he wasn't a chicken.
22. What do you call octopuses that look identical? I-tenticle.
23. Why did the crab refuse to share? Because he’s shellfish.
24. Where did the sheep go on vacation? The Baa-hamas.
25. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato.
26. Why do some fish live in saltwater? Because pepper makes them sneeze.
27. What was the first animal to visit space? The cow who jumped over the moon.
28. What do you get when you mix a snake with a pie? A pie-thon.
29. What’s a dog's favorite city? New York-ie.
30. How do cats say goodbye? See ya litter!
31. What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.
32. What goes ‘tick, tick, bark, bark’? A watchdog.
33. What’s better than a talking dog? A spelling bee.
34. What's the name for a rabbit with beetles crawling over him? Bugs Bunny.
35. What’s a duck’s favorite type of thing to watch? Duck-umentaries.
36. What do you call a vampire who has a dog? A were-woof.
37. What do dogs say to the bone? It’s been nice gnawing you.
38. What happened when the shark ventured into online dating? He was catfished.

After even more pet jokes? Feast your eyes on the best funny cat jokes, or take a look at the funny dog jokes that will make you howl.